What happens when eight college friends get together for a weekend
of fun at a nearby bed and breakfast? Well, murder, of course.
Mindy (the bimbo), Shooter (the jock), Renee and Katrina (the weirdo
lesbians), Tim (the homo-hipster), Tank (the redneck), and Psycho
Mike (the Insane Clown Posse fan) have all gathered at an out-of-the-way
bed and breakfast to spend the weekend with their old college buddy,
AJ, who has stayed on at the B-n-B to “clean up” during
the dead season.
After all the “Hey, how’s it going?”s and the “Long
time no see.”s the group settles in for a pleasantly relaxing
and completely normal night of shish kabob eating, beer drinking,
and murder… but this is only the beginning.
Their night of normalcy ends with the unexpected ringing of the doorbell
– enter James Edwards, self-proclaimed psychic to the stars.
After a brier encounter between James Edwards and a dead COGIC woman
(through a bribery induced séance, and by the way the Vikings
will be winning the super bowl this year), and that pesky electricity
finally going out, the gang decides the best plan of action is to
get drunk on tequila. And what do girls like to do after getting good
and drunk? Well, take a shower of course.
Renee, while taking a “cold” shower (damn batteries) is
brutally attacked and killed by a mysterious hand that seizes the
showerhead and crams it down her throat. The owner of the mysterious
hand turns around to reveal the not-so-mysterious AJ as the killer
(well, what did you expect?).
And so begins the murdering spree, coupled with sporadic rounds of
applause and overall encouraging comments by the recently deceased,
AJ continues taking out his friends one-by-one, and the friends one-by-one
are re-animated.
Katrina is bludgeoned with a vibrator; James Edwards’ brains
are splattered about the kitchen by an oversized metal fan; Shooter
is butchered with a nail gun; Tim is accidentally stabbed in the jugular
by Tank with a nail file; Tank is impaled with the pink flamingo he
proudly presented to AJ as a house warming present (apparently the
gift wasn’t well received); and Psycho Mike is hit in the back
with a hatched, allowing his body to come to rest in the position
of the ICP logo (kinda ironic, don’t you think?).
So this leaves Mindy, and a now decently-sized deceased audience,
who watch intently as AJ stalks his final prey and explains the “whys”
of his murders, not that they are really all that important. Maybe
Mindy could have saved her self, but she’s just such a bimbo.
As for AJ, well, while trying to clean up the next morning he manages
to break his foot; pour bleach into his own eyes; impale himself onto
a post filled with rusty nails; and finally fall face first onto the
ground, where he is stabbed in the stomach by a hand shovel. Thankfully,
just before he dies, Sterling (the owner of the bed and breakfast)
bursts in to save the day, or maybe not.
Shocked to see the mess that AJ has yet to clean up (such incompetent
help), Sterling walks over to him, broom in hand, and smashes him
in the head, “Amature.”
THE END, well, that is until the next… DEAD SEASON.